The Wonderful Blog Which You ve Never Seen

I frequently like to think about where I am in my life and the things I’ve done - and the things I would still like to accomplish in whatever time I have left here on this old planet. A few mornings ago (I like to do this kind of thing in the morning with a big, hot cup of coffee) the question popped into my head, “What should I focus on next?” Now I’ve been at this personal growth stuff long enough to know that it’s not particularly easy to conduct an honest self-evaluation. The information has a tendency to get skewed because of our already built-in mental programming or filters. Then I remembered a technique that can usually help point us in the right direction. It’s one simple question. “What’s your trigger?” What do other people do or say that is bothersome to you - or even hacks you off completely? What hits your hot button?

In less than three seconds, I had my answer. My trigger is people making statements about a situation, event or concept which they present as 100 percent fact even though it is “obvious” they don’t know what they are talking about. Hmmm, it looks like there is a whole bunch of information - for me especially - in that sentence, doesn’t it?

Part one: Some time ago, a good friend - and boss - made the following observation. “Sometimes when people don’t know what they’re talking about - it shows!” Even though at the time he was referring to a co-worker, I also think it was a nice way for him to pass on a tidbit of important information to me too. And he was absolutely right. It can be a huge mistake to pass on erroneous information to any person or group of people who just may know more about the subject than we do. Occasionally we do this simply because we really think we have all the pertinent information about a topic. Once in a while though, we wind up “shooting from the hip” for one reason or another - and yes, often it is because our logic processes have provided us with what we feel is an accurate assumption. At times, we can even become so damned cock-sure that our opinions are correct that nothing - absolutely nothing - any other person says or does will change our mind. We’re right and that’s all there is to it!

Occasionally, we do it just so we can feel included - a contributing member of a group who is capable of conversing intelligently on the current subject. “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.” Yeah, there are also times when we tend to manipulate the information a bit so we can promote our own personal agenda and prompt our own desired outcome to a situation.

Sometimes we succeed in our efforts. Sometimes we don’t. The main variable in this of course, is that we never know who might be around that really will know more than we do about something. Sort of puts this in the category of verbal Russian roulette, doesn’t it?

Part two: Here’s where it gets downright personal. I learned some time ago - or thought I did anyway - that the more information I’ve absorbed over the years, the dumber I’ve gotten. It’s not that a whole bunch of the stuff that I thought I knew was completely incorrect. It’s just that I’ve come to realize there’s always more to know, more to think about related to any given subject. Details that I may not be aware of. Other possibilities to consider. What I write in my blogs and articles is only what I think I know right now. It could be different tomorrow.

It’s good to be aware of this, right? So why the hell then, when I’m talking with a family member about a particular subject, do I act as though I’m the world’s leading authority on this topic? I become the resident friggin’ expert - as I shoot from the hip and sort of think there’s a reasonable level of accuracy in what I’m saying but have no way to prove any of it. Nah, I don’t use this approach all the time. Just often enough to be annoying to the both of us involved in the conversation.

Maybe I’m trying too hard to assume a leadership role. Maybe I think that by being the perceived “authority” I can gain more respect (which of course, is so well deserved considering my vast accumulation of knowledge and abundance of wisdom). Or maybe I’m just being a butt-head. That’s probably more likely the case, huh?

Anyway, it’s something I need to work on. I need to remember that when I express an opinion, it would be best if I specifically say “This is just my opinion” - or “I’m not 100 percent certain about this, but it looks as though.” Or maybe even “Beats the crap outta me - but here’s a possibility” I think this approach would make life a little easier for all of us.

So it looks like I have my next self improvement project all laid out. What about you? Just check your triggers

Gene Simmons, through NuPathz.com, provides an easy reading self-help blog, articles, quotations, thoughts and links along with affordable personal growth and self improvement books & materials - all designed to help folks find the road to a more enjoyable lifestyle, to pass on some of life’s “secrets for survival” in a chaotic world & offer a few smiles along the way. It’s a down-to-earth, simple approach to discovering a better life. You can visit Gene at http://www.nupathz.com/

Tags: anger, personal development, personal growth, self evaluation, Self Help, self improvement, triggeranger, personal development, personal growth, self evaluation, Self Help, self improvement, trigger

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Self Improvement has become mainstream. In the last few years, since I
have been writing articles and submitting them to article sites, I’ve
noticed that the category of “Self Improvement” has been showing up
lately when it was never there before. To me, this is very good news.

But what does it really mean to “Self Improve?” What are we really
improving when we self improve? And what “self” are we improving?

We each have two “selves” - our wounded self and our core Self. Our
core Self is our true self, our natural soul self - our essence. Our core
Self is our passion, our joy, our gifts and talents, our ability to love, our
creativity. We come into this life as our core Self, and when this Self is
loved and valued by our parents, we continue to naturally grow our God-
given gifts and talents and manifest the fullness of our beings. This Self
wants to improve by learning the skills necessary to fully express itself.

But when this Self is not seen and valued in the way we needed, we
create an alternative self, a self we hope will have control over getting
the love we need and avoiding the pain we can’t handle - a self to help
us feel safe. This is our false self, our wounded self, our ego self. This
self is filled with the false beliefs that we absorbed as we were growing
up - beliefs that end up limiting our true, core Self. This self does not
needs improving - it needs healing.

The term “self improvement” can sometimes be a bit misleading,
because we do not want to improve our wounded self. We do not want
to improve on the ways we lie, manipulate, and avoid in our attempts to
have control over getting love and avoiding pain. We don’t want to
improve on our many addictions to substance and processes. We don’t
want to improve on our anger, our compliance, our withdrawal and our
resistance.

We want to heal it.

Healing and improving are not the same thing.

We can certainly self-improve when it comes to skills. We can improve in
sports, in art, music, writing, cooking. We can improve our health and
wellbeing by improving our diet and exercise program. We can improve
in the knowledge we need to be more successful regarding work and
money. We might be able to improve our relationships by learning new
communication skills. But what if acquiring new knowledge and skills
does not improve our health, or our ability to earn money, or our
relationships? And what if learning new skills does not bring us more joy
and inner peace? It may mean that we need to heal the underlying fears
and false beliefs that cause us to be anxious, depressed, stressed, guilt-
ridden, shamed, withdrawn, angry, blaming, or sad.

Sometimes Self Improvement just means practicing a skill, and others
times it means that we need to participate in a deep healing process.
For example, many people try to improve their health by losing weight
and exercising. But if their food addictions are covering over unhealed
pain, they might not be able to just change their diet. They might need to
open to a healing process in order to eventually improve.

If you are really trying to self improve but find yourself stuck and unable
to progress, or find that you have no joy or inner peace, you might want
to open to the possibility that unhealed pain and beliefs are blocking
your progress and causing your pain. It is easy to improve yourself when
there is nothing blocking the way. But if you have old false beliefs about
your adequacy and worth, these beliefs may be blocking your ability to
take loving action in your own behalf. All your efforts to self improve will
not bring you the satisfaction you are seeking if you have beliefs that are
keeping you limited in fully expressing your true, core Self. If you are
stuck, then you need to seek out a healing process, such as the Inner
Bonding process we teach, that will move you out of the fears and
beliefs that limit you. Healing these fears and limiting beliefs will open
the door to improving your life in all ways!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight
books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” and
“Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner
Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site
for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her
at margaret@innerbonding.com Phone Sessions Available.

Tags: emotional healing, motivation, personal growth, Self Help, self improvementemotional healing, motivation, personal growth, Self Help, self improvement

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Without doubt, the worst enemy you will face in your entire life lies within you. Fear, the most powerful and destructive of our emotions, will do its level best to spoil each and every opportunity that comes your way.

Fear does this to every human being. It is a part of human nature. If you’re like most people, you will be influenced by fear and you will be unaware of the consequences. Because unlike your monthly paycheck, the wages of fear are paid much, much later.

Imagine you are in the winter of your life. Having worked hard in a steady job for most of your life, you are now retired and drawing your pension. You have plenty of time each and every day to look back on your life. A life lived without risk, without taking advantage of opportunity, without doing the wonderful things you always wanted to do.

Each day you feel more and more frustrated. You remember the times when exciting opportunities knocked on your door and your fear slammed it shut every time. Each day brings regrets. Each day brings bitterness. Each day brings torment. You feel like you’ve wasted your life and you know fear is to blame.

Two small but powerful words dog you: If only

Sure, life isn’t a struggle but you just about scrape by. Every day brings the same dull routine. Every day a mundane plod towards the inevitable.

As you look back on your life, you discover no real memories to ease the monotony and bring you a comforting glow. All you have is a life of working to pay off debts, living life like everybody else and getting what everybody else gets. Your unique dreams, ambitions and talents all remain unfulfilled. Other than your circle of family and friends, the world knows nothing about you. You didn’t leave anything to remember you by other than memories, lovingly cherished by your family.

What about your legacy? If only you’d written that book, that song, that play. Or maybe even made that film, created your website or started your business. If only you’d formed a rock band, joined that football team, trained to be an athlete, studied for those qualifications or travelled to distant lands.

If only

Occasionally, you chat with someone who still possesses the spark of youth in their eyes. They talk with passion about all the things they’ve experienced in their life and how they’re still cramming in as much as they can. So much to do, so little time! They just can’t do all the things they want - even though they’ve done so much already.

You listen, uncomfortably, as they joyfully and proudly recount adventure after adventure, achievements and disappointments, triumphs and tragedies, challenges and accomplishments. Risks that paid off, risks that caused pain and sadness, risks that delivered big time. Times when fear was faced, when they were scared to death but stood firm and mustered all the courage they could find. When the world laughed at them and they felt abandoned and alone, and times when fear was overcome, when the sweet taste of success lingered on the lips and they looked the world squarely in the eye and smiled in triumph.

Priceless moments. Joyful moments. Everlasting, comforting, rewarding and satisfying. The full, happy life, lived in glorious technicolor and savoured. These are the rewards - the wages paid to those with the grit, courage and belief to face their fears and pursue life in their own special, talented and unique way.

Wages earned by the few. Wages denied to the many by their crushing fear.

You realize that your memories are of an easy life lived in fear and in shades of gray. Devoid of risk. Devoid of setbacks and disappointment, devoid of real success. Devoid of the courage to conquer fear and put yourself on the line. All of the potential you were so sure you possessed in the flower of youth never discovered or trusted. And now, in the bleak winter of your life, the potential is lost forever.

This truth hits you each day. And the cold bites harder.

What really hurts is that you’ll never know how high you could have flown because you didn’t have the courage to spread your wings.

If only you’d

But it’s too late. The sands of time have slipped by, there’s only a small pile of grains left. You chose fear as your paymaster, blissfully unaware that the wages would amount to a pittance and would be delivered when it’s far too late to ask for a raise.

Fear faced you and it won. For years, it silently lurked waiting for the day when it could pay you for choosing a life dictated by fear. Your time is nearly up and fear delivers your paycheck.

You realize it isn’t worth cashing.

If only

Copyright 2006 Christopher Green

Chris Green is the author of the new book “Conquering Fear”, the acclaimed book that shows you how to turn fear, your worst enemy, into your most powerful ally. For a FREE preview, please go to => http://www.conqueringfear.net

Tags: Fear, h, inspiration, motivation, personal development, personal growth, Self Help, self improvementFear, h, inspiration, motivation, personal development, personal growth, Self Help, self improvement

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