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Why Are They Smiling

Look at those teeth, all straight and unnaturally bright white. They never fail to flash down from billboards and thirty-second promos on TV. The four people on a news team may vary ethnically, by gender, and education, but they all have great white smiles. “You rise and we’ll shine” boasts one team from a downtown billboard. And they are always smiling.

Why are they smiling? Okay, forget the sports presenter, because sports is about games anyway. Then again, the sports people seem to be most grave when on the air. This could be significant.

But what about the other folks, the co-anchors and weather person? Sure, they get paid well, but look at what they do for a livingthey give us bad news. For example:

“Hi, I’m Perky Bubbles and this is the 6 o’clock news. Thousands died in a catastrophic earthquake in Pakistan. Raging fires consumed 10,000 acres of suburban Los Angeles. Local mother drowns two kids in bathtub, then jumps out tenth floor window. All coming up, next!” And she says it with those pearly whites glaring at us.

Then the stories come.

“Reporting on the Pakistani tragedy is Iam Heere,” says Perky.

“Thanks, Perky,” says a somber-looking male reporter in 1988 Army surplus attire. He rambles on for two minutes, then wraps up with “…and this has been made that much worse by the staggering poverty of just about everyone in this part of the country. Perky?”

A brief look of concern from Perky as she says “Thanks, Iam.” Then a big smile and “We’ll be back after these messages.”

Switch to commercial for (cough) Lexus–the cost of just one Lexus would equal the combined total annual income of at least three of those devastated Pakistani villages. Then back to Perky and the others, and we hear about murders, political corruption, a devastating hurricane (with “humorous” footage of a trailer blowing end-over-end in one shot that is rerun three times), and steroid use in a baseball team.

So I ask again… WHY are they smiling? Switching to another channel:

Rocky (smiling): “Well, Dusty, how about those suicide bombers, huh?”

Dusty (smiling): “Right, Rocky, and reports indicate that casualties included several innocent bystanders.”

Rocky (smiling): “Pentagon sources say that added precautions will now be added to future pro-Saddam demonstrations. Dusty?”

Dusty: (smiling): Thanks Rocky. Coming up next: the number of homeless goes up 12 percent last month; Big Bird stricken with avian flu; and president warns that thousands may die in winter cold as fuel prices skyrocket.” (Really big smile.) “All coming after these words!”

Okay, for anyone over forty, news is now officially entertainment. The “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore” folks are dim images in history. News is no longer about keeping us informed, but about keeping us entertained. As William Paley, founder of CBS, put it decades ago, the job of radio (and television) is to keep the audience listening between commercials. When the book-turned-movie “Network” made its rounds some twenty years ago, We The People were supposed to be shocked by the fictitious “Mao Tse Tung Terrorist Hour,” on which actual acts of violence would be scheduled to meet TV demands. The story’s audiences loved the new show, and ratings soared.

What does the real world offer us now? To start, we have all those cop and home video shows that allow us to vicariously participate in real chases, arrests, gunfights, and the odd killing or two. That led to (ahem) “reality TV,” in which people were subjected to a variety of cruel punishments for the home-viewing thrill of us all. And the ratings soared!

How could the once staid and responsible news media compete with all that “reality?” Pain, death, explosions, and other mayhem were no longer the sole domain of the newsroom. Now anybody could show it as part of family entertainment.

Have we, as a society, become so brainwashed into accepting violence and the darkest episodes of human beings that we see it all as simple entertainment? Is television giving us an endorphin high by showing us unspeakable violence? (In Saudi Arabia, remember, beheadings are greatly attended public events, but they are not televised.) Is this making us less sensitive to the needs of our fellow creatures, human and otherwise? If so, what does that make us? Okay, now, back to the news, already in progress:

Top of the hour, Rocky (smiling): “Record tsunami totally devastates San Francisco and San Diego. Gang of little girls on robbery spree of designer t-shirt shops in Cleveland malls. Dusty?”

Dusty (really big smile): “Scientists discover moon-sized meteor heading towards Earth; the world will end in ten days.” (Looks up, smiling): “All this and more in just a minute.”

This is followed by a commercial for the biggest Ford clearance sale in history. The tag line ends: “Everything must go! Offer ends in ten days!”

Dr. Sprackland can be reached at robertsprackland@comcast.net.

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Healing Anger and Violence in Our Society

I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for the past 35 years and authored eight published books. All this experience has resulted in the development of a profound six-step healing process, called Inner Bonding, which anyone can learn and use throughout the day (FREE course available - see resource box).

The violence in Littleton, Colorado sparked many discussions regarding the cause of such horrifying behavior on the part of two teenage boys. I would like to address this in terms on Inner Bonding.

In my experience, it is not possible for us as human beings to be violent when we are connected to our true, core Self and to a source of spiritual guidance. When we do the work we need to do to develop a spiritually connected loving adult self, we have an inner adult who places limits on our behavior regarding harming ourselves and others.

However, it is very common in our society for people to lose touch with their true, core Self. Since our core Self holds our intrinsic feelings of compassion and empathy for others, losing touch with this aspect of ourselves may cause us to be able to harm others without feeling any pain or remorse over it. The question is, then, how do we lose our connection with our core Selves?

Many child development experts state that those people who disconnect from their empathy and compassion, generally do so between the ages of two and four. If our parents lacked empathy and compassion for our feelings and needs, we might have chosen to be caretakers and take care of their needs, or we might have chosen to become like them and not care about others’ feelings and needs. We may have had no role modeling for maintaining our own inner connection. If our parents shut themselves down to our pain and their own, we may have learned to shut down to our own and others vulnerable feelings. If, in addition, we were physically, sexually, emotionally or verbally abused or neglected, we may have shut down to survive.

Some children, whose parents were shut down or abusive, manage to stay connected with their core Selves through contact with animals such as dogs or horses, while others stay connected through contact with relatives or friends with whom they identify. But many young children just disconnect to survive. When in this disconnected state, if they watch violence on TV or practice violence through video games, they may further train themselves to numb out against compassion, empathy, and the pain of harming others.

Likewise, if children grow up with no personal connection with a source of spiritual guidance, they may not know that we are all one, and they may not consider the possibility that the consequences of their actions may follow them into their lives after death.

Without connection with their core Self and their spiritual guidance, they are left with only their wounded selves. If they happen to be operating from an enraged wounded self, this self can certainly act out in angry and violent ways. With no loving inner Adult to set limits, the harm to themselves or others can be disastrous, as we have seen.

While limiting guns is certainly a good thing to do, it will not stop the violence. This violence will not stop until we no longer need to learn, as very young children, to barricade our hearts. As parents and teachers we need to be practicing a healing process such as Inner Bonding so that we can reclaim our core Selves and our deep connection with God. Only by doing our own inner work will we be able to be the loving role models that our children need. The change in our society must come from within each of us.

About The Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

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